Day 4: Word Adoption

the word: blateration

Yeah, after philanthropy was conquered, I decided it was high time to adopt. Savethewords.org provides all of us singles who really want kids something unique and special: the opportunity to save a word from extinction from the English language. This is also the goal of most celebrities while naming their kids. Why chose a name like "Carl" or "Marie" when you could save an old endangered name like "Fifi-Trixibell?" But I digress.

It would be nice and enjoyable if the endangered words were "sophistry" or "pedantic" or something with a ring to it like "Oblongum." But no, I got "blateration." Sorry, "blateration," I believe you should be retired, if I wasn't required to adopt you based on a commitment I made to my readership, I would have put you out of your misery on the spot. Any word that combines the conjured imagery of "splatter" with an intonation similar to the word "bladder" and with the lovely ending "ation" has some serious problems. Is this the act of defiance by an abused bladder? Is it a euphemism for peeing? "Be right back honey, I need to go blaterate." Is it the spontanious combustion of your urinary tract? "Oh, I think my innards just blaterated, oh, it hurts." No actually, it's just about someone talking, or babbling, or blabbering... you see the problem. You have to stop trying to be like these other words "blateration," you just gotta be yourself man.

Because I had doubts about the need (or even knowledge of) a word like this, I decided to take it to the streets. And because my brain is, like, huge (see below), I thought of a clever way of doing this.

my brain, artist's rendering

I decided to craftily insert the word "blateration" into a few conversations, except it would be reverse-SAT style: I would deliberately use the word wrong and see if I was ever corrected.

Starbucks Barista: "Iced triple grande three pump no-whip white mocha."

Me @ Starbucks: "Wow, you really put some blateration into this drink."

Starbucks Barista: "Thanks!"

[Extinction: 1, Preservation: 0]

Uwajimaya Checker: "Your total comes to 10.50... would you like a receipt?"

Me @ Uwajimaya: "No that's alright. Does your guys' sushi come with free blateration?"

Uwajimaya Checker: "I don't think so, sorry."

[Extinction: 2, Preservation: 0]

Co-worker: "Wow, they really should have let us know that we wouldn't be doing the mailings today."

Me: "Yeah, I agree. It's really blaterating."

Co-worker: "..."

[Extinction: 3, Preservation: 0]

Sorry "blateration," it's been a good run, but it's time to go!